Purpose

Over the last 6 months or so I have been thinking a lot about purpose. I have been thinking about it constantly, sometimes on a daily basis and maybe obsessively too. I have been talking to others about purpose, reading books on the topic, discussing it with my therapist, and really trying to figure out what I hope to do with my next 40 years. Someone once said (can’t recall who) that the two best days of your life are of course the day you were born (ha!) as well as the day you find out what your purpose in life is.

I have already accomplished so much professionally and financially. However the last year or two has been tremendously challenging personally. While I have always known it to some extent, I have realized how disconnected I am from my family. I have realized it is challenging for me to find “close” friends and relationships. While there are many reasons for this, some of the big ones I think include my introversion, maybe some social anxiety, the fact majority of people in my age group have kids and are working daily. But of course that are just some of the reasons for my disconnection.

I know the next 40 years of my life can’t be the same as the last several years were. Otherwise what is the point of going on? So I am focusing on purpose. What can I do in the future? What type of difference can I make? Who do I want to try to make it with? How much change can I make to myself and how much can others in my orbit change? What is my passion? I have so many questions and feel like (no I am) drifting right now.

No matter whether you are low income or wealthy, finding a purpose is so important. There are even many people who take lower paying jobs as what the role allows is them to find some passion/purpose in their life. As long as they make enough to pay the bills, they are content with the role of finding their purpose. So no matter what your income is, this post will apply as well.

In some ways I am embracing this timeframe, as I have worked so hard over my life. I never really had a childhood due to a dysfunctional household growing up, the adult responsibilities thrust onto my as a kid, and the intense hard professional work I did from my 20s to 40 or so. So I am looking at this timeframe in my life as “taking a break”, assessing my options, and trying to find my purpose.

I do have many ideas on it, but I think making a decision is challenging. As I feel it is so important at this stage of my life to make the right decision. Do I want to live in a European city for a while, explore the continent and also backpack across Europe? Maybe volunteer my skills to a mission to Africa or Europe? Explore the option of caring for a kid or pets/dogs? Throw myself 100% into a new business? Or just loaf around watching TV and go to the beach? Do I want to be alone, or try to find a old or new partner? I have so many questions, and the answers to my next steps and purpose seem so unclear. But I know taking action is also important part of finding your purpose.

I think finding a purpose is so important. What makes me jump out of bed in the morning? Who makes me want to get out of the bed each morning and who do I want to help and spend time with? What do I feel in my heart?

This will be continued later as I think, battle, and try to find what gives me that passion and excitement. I really want too…no need too…find this out and need to decide no later than the end of the year. Make 2019 a fresh start for me, no matter what I am doing, who I am with (or if alone), etc. I need to find what makes a difference.

Any readers find their purpose? How did you do it? Please share if you want.

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