Stroke lead to violence
Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2021 1:27 pm
To whom it may concern,
Hello, my name is Melissa. I would like to explain in detail why I am writing this so I apologize for the lengthy email but I felt whomever is reading this needs to know my story and why I am in desperate need of help to escape a violent situation. I have four children ages 18, 16, 12 and 8. I am just recently separated from my husband of nineteen years as he had a stroke and has become violent. I have no family to left alive and my husband's family, well that's another story in itself.
My life has been consumed with caring for my husband and all that entailed, taking care of my four children, helping in the kid’s classrooms at school, teaching young girls on Wednesday nights at our church we attended when we lived in Beulah.
We now live in Smith Station. My husband had a massive stroke October 16, 2007 while taking our two oldest kids, which at the time were in kindergarten and 3rd grade, to school. By the grace of God, he drove himself back home safely. He was in the hospital seven weeks and when I brought him home from the hospital he was in a diaper and wheelchair and could do nothing for himself, not even speak. I took him back and forth to therapy for over three years and he is able to walk with a cane, he can read his Bible but not spell, he has no use of his right arm, he cannot speak in a complete sentence and his cognition is that of a little child but, I didn't care. I loved him very much and we had a wonderful eight year marriage before his stroke. Towards the end of 2010, three years after his stroke his personality began to change. He went from a gentle and loving man to an angry and crazy tyrant. I tried to be patient a seething from his perspective. I know my heart was broken and I was devistasted so I can only imagine the pain he was going through. We would hold each other sometimes at night and he would just sob along with me as I prayed aloud. Things began to get worse and there were more bad days than good. For the first time ever in our then eleven year marriage I was afraid of him when would be this crazy tyrant
The stroke had completely changed him and made him violent. The doctor changed some of his meds and integrated some depression meds, some meds for anxiety and tranquilizers. This seems to help for a brief time and then gradually things escalated and it took a little of nothing to set him off. We have lived like this for nine years. I know God released me from my marriage several years ago but none of his family would step up to the plate and allow him to come live with them, which wasn't surprising because they had been nowhere around all these years since his stroke, and my heart couldn't bear to put him in a nursing home. On June 13 of this year he had been on about a four day tyrant. I forgot to mention but many times when he would get mad he would leave our home on foot and that was scary for so many reasons. The police or a random person would bring him home telling me he was walking down the middle of the road. He left our home on foot. My sister-in-law was out running errands and saw him walking in the middle of the road.
She tried to pick and offered to take him to see his brother. When he gets in this frame of mind of violence from his stroke there's nothing that you can say to calm him down nor is there anything that you can do. She had to call the police and they physically put him in her vehicle. She took him to Lafayette to stay with his brother who just got out of prison and was living with their aunt. I spoke with his aunt and asked that she please allow me to get his disability check like always on the 3rd of the following month which was July and that would allow me to pay our monthly bills so I wouldn't get behind and give me the opportunity to look for a job so I could take care of the kids and myself and she could then change his disability check over in her name. She knew I was unable to work since my husband's stroke as he needed constant care and it was not safe to leave him home alone. I felt this wasn't an unreasonable request after nineteen years of marriage, we had two children that were our biological children, I was awarded custody of his grandson (that we had been raising since he was nine months old) shortly after my husband's stroke and we were award in 2011 our fourth baby who was three weeks old at the time. However, she went to the Social Security Office the very next day and had his check changed in her name.
This has left me in a horrible mess and in a violent situation. I have rent coming do of $700 and because I didn't have my husband's check at the beginning of this month I was unable to pay our power bill for last month. Now the billing cycle has dropped and I now have two months’ worth of power bills which total $600. I was able to get on food stamps and I'm avidly searching for a job. Please are there any programs that can help me temporarily with keeping me safe from violence and him from his stroke so I can get a job and get on my feet?
I've never been in this situation before so I'm not familiar with any programs that can give me some temporary assistance. As I said before I have no family to turn to for help and I have four kids counting on me. I so appreciate the time you took out of your busy schedule today to read this. Any and all help, information and prayers would be so greatly appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Hello, my name is Melissa. I would like to explain in detail why I am writing this so I apologize for the lengthy email but I felt whomever is reading this needs to know my story and why I am in desperate need of help to escape a violent situation. I have four children ages 18, 16, 12 and 8. I am just recently separated from my husband of nineteen years as he had a stroke and has become violent. I have no family to left alive and my husband's family, well that's another story in itself.
My life has been consumed with caring for my husband and all that entailed, taking care of my four children, helping in the kid’s classrooms at school, teaching young girls on Wednesday nights at our church we attended when we lived in Beulah.
We now live in Smith Station. My husband had a massive stroke October 16, 2007 while taking our two oldest kids, which at the time were in kindergarten and 3rd grade, to school. By the grace of God, he drove himself back home safely. He was in the hospital seven weeks and when I brought him home from the hospital he was in a diaper and wheelchair and could do nothing for himself, not even speak. I took him back and forth to therapy for over three years and he is able to walk with a cane, he can read his Bible but not spell, he has no use of his right arm, he cannot speak in a complete sentence and his cognition is that of a little child but, I didn't care. I loved him very much and we had a wonderful eight year marriage before his stroke. Towards the end of 2010, three years after his stroke his personality began to change. He went from a gentle and loving man to an angry and crazy tyrant. I tried to be patient a seething from his perspective. I know my heart was broken and I was devistasted so I can only imagine the pain he was going through. We would hold each other sometimes at night and he would just sob along with me as I prayed aloud. Things began to get worse and there were more bad days than good. For the first time ever in our then eleven year marriage I was afraid of him when would be this crazy tyrant
The stroke had completely changed him and made him violent. The doctor changed some of his meds and integrated some depression meds, some meds for anxiety and tranquilizers. This seems to help for a brief time and then gradually things escalated and it took a little of nothing to set him off. We have lived like this for nine years. I know God released me from my marriage several years ago but none of his family would step up to the plate and allow him to come live with them, which wasn't surprising because they had been nowhere around all these years since his stroke, and my heart couldn't bear to put him in a nursing home. On June 13 of this year he had been on about a four day tyrant. I forgot to mention but many times when he would get mad he would leave our home on foot and that was scary for so many reasons. The police or a random person would bring him home telling me he was walking down the middle of the road. He left our home on foot. My sister-in-law was out running errands and saw him walking in the middle of the road.
She tried to pick and offered to take him to see his brother. When he gets in this frame of mind of violence from his stroke there's nothing that you can say to calm him down nor is there anything that you can do. She had to call the police and they physically put him in her vehicle. She took him to Lafayette to stay with his brother who just got out of prison and was living with their aunt. I spoke with his aunt and asked that she please allow me to get his disability check like always on the 3rd of the following month which was July and that would allow me to pay our monthly bills so I wouldn't get behind and give me the opportunity to look for a job so I could take care of the kids and myself and she could then change his disability check over in her name. She knew I was unable to work since my husband's stroke as he needed constant care and it was not safe to leave him home alone. I felt this wasn't an unreasonable request after nineteen years of marriage, we had two children that were our biological children, I was awarded custody of his grandson (that we had been raising since he was nine months old) shortly after my husband's stroke and we were award in 2011 our fourth baby who was three weeks old at the time. However, she went to the Social Security Office the very next day and had his check changed in her name.
This has left me in a horrible mess and in a violent situation. I have rent coming do of $700 and because I didn't have my husband's check at the beginning of this month I was unable to pay our power bill for last month. Now the billing cycle has dropped and I now have two months’ worth of power bills which total $600. I was able to get on food stamps and I'm avidly searching for a job. Please are there any programs that can help me temporarily with keeping me safe from violence and him from his stroke so I can get a job and get on my feet?
I've never been in this situation before so I'm not familiar with any programs that can give me some temporary assistance. As I said before I have no family to turn to for help and I have four kids counting on me. I so appreciate the time you took out of your busy schedule today to read this. Any and all help, information and prayers would be so greatly appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you soon.