So depressed I can't get out of bed

State and local government assistance programs.
Post Reply
Perry
Posts: 20
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2011 10:20 am
Antispam check: Dog
Antispam check: two
Contact:

So depressed I can't get out of bed

Post by Perry »

First and foremost, I want to say thank you for taking the time to read about my story. I’m very embarrassed to be so depressed I can't get out of bed. Honestly, I’ve always been the one saying, “Don’t Stop somebody else’s blessings.” Now, I’m the one asking God to place my story, with the right person receiving it. Hoping, in the end I find some light at the end of the tunnel.
While writing this I couldn’t stop questioning myself. Why bother others with my problems when they have their own? Will anyone even read this? I’m no more special than the next person. What would make my story any different? How do I ask for help.
Do I Explain my Tragic year so they feel bad for me? I’m not a charity case and don’t want to be recognized as one. I don’t want my crisis causing sympathy or pain in someone else’s heart. I keep my hardships to myself. I’m desperate, Destroyed, lost, confused, hurt, and weak. I can no longer use the excuse of not wanting to take help from others in need. Now, my family is the one in desperate need. I will allow God to open doors and stop the devil from shutting them.
After losing my infant daughter, Honest. I’ve realized there is so little time in life to just live, but so much more time to fight and survive. I can’t let the wounds that have damaged my soul making me suffer Daily, determine the strength I have left inside of me to keep going. While I’m depressed fighting to get out of bed every day.
Missing my child, that I had to give back to God March 9th 2021. I hold onto the memory of how precious life once was. Happiness, and innocence that I no longer see while looking in my children’s eyes. The worst thing that can happen to a human being, it happened to me. It’s pain that’s unexplainable. The only pain that’s worse is knowing your child feels that same pain and there is nothing you can do to make it go away. At this point, I’ve now felt the unimaginable a mother can feel in one lifetime.
Without faith we can’t fight or have the strength to make it. It’s important to move into what God has next for us. During this season of my life, I love my children so much. I've managed to keep my sanity and not give up. Hopefully after reading about my tragic year. You hold onto life as close as you can. You never know when the end is coming.
September 16th 2020, Honesty was born, premature. I suffer from a disease called psoriatic Arthritis. Unfortunately, It compromises my immune system, making my body weaker than others. I love my occupation and still do. I wasn't thrilled about being high risk during COVID. After working every day for 13 years with great clips as a company, I had to go on unemployment. This caused tremendous financial issues. So, I had no choice but to live in income-based housing. The system that I trusted. The system that’s in place to keep me and my family safe during this hardship. Is the system that failed my family and destroyed our lives forever.
There was visible black mold in my home. Management did nothing about it. It got worse and worse and I believe that’s what killed my baby. I can’t settle with the answer being SIDS, which is no answer. I feel it's all my fault. I didn’t know the apartment I chose had mold in it. After living there a couple months we all started getting sick my 16-year-old daughter, 2-year-old son, and infant child. I can't remember a day
when one of us didn’t have a fever, vomiting and serious allergies. After Honesty passed I took it into my own hands and contacted a mold company. They recognized the mold and said a mold air quality test was needed. Not having much money left after using my savings to pay for my baby’s funeral I gave them the last of what I did have. Two hundred dollars. When the results came back that the quality of mold in the air was HIGHER inside of my apartment then the outside. I was devastated. At that point I really blamed myself for my daughter's death.
With the mold being a huge problem, waiting on management to treat my home, which in the end never happened. My home was like a broken heart, filled with us grieving. Sincere and Honesty have the same father. He was always very much active in both of their lives. He was always a great father to them, but he didn’t live with me. Time to time he spent the night. He came over the evening prior to Honesty's death. I woke him up screaming for help because our daughter was blue with no life left in her. I knew she had passed but I didn’t want to believe it. So, I told him to give her CPR. He did. To this day I regret telling him to do that. While trying to grieve, being isolated due to COVID tensions became high. He didn’t leave after Honesty passed because he wanted to be close to our son, Sincere. Which was ok with me. Until he told me how he truly felt inside.
One night as I heard their father, Ladarris. He was laying on the ground in the kid's room weeping, loudly. I went in to comfort him. He said it’s so difficult to grab Sincere a diaper, when Honesty's are right there. I agreed. He expressed that he had been blaming himself. He said “If I would have done CPR the right way then she would be here right now, but I wasn’t even able to put breath back into my own daughter.” I didn’t know he felt this way. I explained that there was nothing either of us could have done. We had to give her back to God and I don’t know why, but we did.
I started noticing behavior changes like him easily getting upset, then mad. He started drinking and self- medicating. This was something I never witnessed before. Being a part of each other lives for 6 years you know if a person isn't themselves. One night his pain turned into anger and he said very mean things to me. He also put his hands on me. I was terrified, so I called the police. With them being close to us. Being there the day she passed and attended the funeral. They didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to do. I became a domestic violence victim at that point and I couldn’t take the chance of it happening again. So, I made him get help. With their father being gone, 3 months after losing my beautiful daughter. My 16-year-old daughter at my mother's because she can't take being in the house where her baby sister passed. I was completely shattered.
With the house having mold in it. All the happy memories turning into a traumatic nightmare. I had to make sure I survived, mentally, emotionally and physically for the sake of my two living children. The home was completely toxic, literately toxic. With management still not fixing the mold issue or putting me in another unit, I packed a few bags and told them I would stay with family until they move me. That's exactly what I did. Not having much immediate family. One stable sibling out of 4. one alive parent being my mother. I went there. I have been receiving food stamps. While management is still in the process of my transfer it is income based, subsidized housing. Myself and children also receive Medicaid. Now, being at my mother's just for the safety of myself and remaining children. You would think nothing could get worse at this time. That was wrong, because it only got worse from there.
While taking a quick trip to the apartment to grab more items. I walked into a complete disaster. My ceiling and walls had caved in. Everything in my home was destroyed. There was mold covering every inch of my home. I screamed and cried. I couldn’t understand how the system could allow this to happen. With a tragic year already, I couldn’t understand, why me. I called the Hamilton County Health Department. They were sickened. They gave management A notice on Condemnation and gave them several violations, even criminal misdemeanor charges. I haven't been successful on finding a lawyer to take my case. Most of them say they don’t have enough background regarding mold. This still doesn't change the fact that we have lost everything in our name. From furniture, clothing, essential living items etc. 15 years' worth of hard earnings. I know all these items can be replaced. If your financially capable of purchasing them again. What you can't buy, repair or replace are the sentimental items of my daughters.
Being a single mom. With no income. No longer receiving unemployment. Behind on my bills, terribly. I’m still Motivated, wanting to go back to work. Mentally, I'm just not capable of it right now. I feel stuck like there are no more alternatives. I did file for disability for my mental health and dperessions but I won’t receive an answer for another few months, unfortunately.
Now, I'm reaching out to agencies, non-profit organizations and people who have good hearts and help others less fortunate, such as me and my bed ridden depression. Or they just may be struggling right now. I feel like we all go through that some point in life. I own a vehicle but now it’s old and used out. All physical parts breaking or going bad and the engine stops, there is no life left. I don’t have a safe, reliable vehicle for my family. Having 2 children and one on the way. I can’t wish for my dream car, fast and luxurious lol. That would be selfish. There needs to me more space. Making everyone, including children, comfortable. So, I'm going to focus more on an SUV/truck. My biggest needs are caching up on bills.
Basically, starting life all over again. The only difference now, is I'm 30, turning 31 on October 25th. As long as I have a safe, habitable roof over our head, food, furniture for my children. All necessary essentials people need to live. Then I'm blessed. If only I had the funds to make this happen.
Transportation is next most important. Not living on a bus line makes it harder to get around. Asking others is always a toss in the air because their schedule may not accommodate with yours. With mental Health Services and medication therapy playing a huge role in mine and my daughter’s life. We attend doctor visits are more frequently now. We do have Medicaid. Medicaid provides so many transportations per year. It doesn't take very long for us to hit the maximum. I use telehealth as much as they allow me to. Which that is helpful. Still having no liable transportation is a problem. I do have my license.
I searched for a long time to find programs that give away cars. Or people that donate them or donate money towards them. I didn’t know such places online existed. Probably because I've never reached out for particular help. I know that I'm writing my story so you learn more about me and my exact challenges. Which then, you decide if you chose to help or not. My whole heart went into this essay. It took everything in me to write it. I hope someone reads it and blessings follow it. What I can't do is try to per sway you on why I deserve it more than someone else, because I don’t. Like I said, everyone has hardships, and many people are so depressed they can't get out of bed.
They all are different. Maybe some are temporally fixable and some others like mine that’s pretty extensive. No matter what your reasonings are for why you don’t obtain a car or whatever it may be. What remains the same, for each of us is the fact that we are without and need assistance.
In your heart, if you choose to be part of one helping me. I thank you in advance. Like I thank my God as well. I don’t know how long it may take or in what order. I just know God will bring my blessings and I won't stop someone Elses. Thank you so much for your time reading my story. Also, please remember that you can always bless me with your prayers or words of wisdom. Blessings don’t always have to come in money form.
Stay Blessed, Shannon
Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 8809
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:42 am
Antispam check: Dog
Antispam check: two
anti spam: Blue
Contact:

Re: So depressed I can't get out of bed

Post by Admin »

Hi Shannon,
If you are so depressed, and a low-income, try a free mental health therapist, clinic, or doctor. Low-income and/or uninsured people like you can get help. There are resources out there, and look here for free therapy services. https://www.needhelppayingbills.com/htm ... vices.html
Kelley
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:49 am
Antispam check: Dog
Antispam check: two
anti spam: Blue
Contact:

Re: So depressed I can't get out of bed

Post by Kelley »

Hello, my name is Doreen.
My 19 year old and I have been homeless since 10/17/2019 and have been staying with my son. My son mentally, emotionally and at times physically abuses me and it is taking a toll on my daughter Marjorie. So can't get out of bed she is so depressed. I have recently been employed with FedEx and my son is doing everything he can to make sure I fail. My daughter has been diagnosed with multiple mental and physiological problems and all his behavior with me is taking a toll on her. I am very scared to leave her with him while I’m at work. Please help me help my baby girl as she is so depressed. I’m losing my motivation due to my son. Please help us!
Sincerely,
Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 8809
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:42 am
Antispam check: Dog
Antispam check: two
anti spam: Blue
Contact:

Re: So depressed I can't get out of bed

Post by Admin »

There are anti-depressant drugs, medications, not to mention therapy. We have many programs listed on our site, and look here for free meds.
Kelley wrote: Thu May 04, 2023 3:38 pm Please help me help my baby girl as she is so depressed. I’m losing my motivation due to my son. Please help us!
Sincerely,
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Ahrefs [Bot] and 5 guests