Life falling apart

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Dan Nowaski
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Life falling apart

Post by Dan Nowaski »

For 8 years no one has been able to help me as my life falling apart. The last five have been going downhill fast. And June 2020, already having a permanent disability diagnosed in 2014 that affects me cognitively, I took a very steep fall and landed on a concrete pad. I should have died.
Over the next year and almost half, blood transfusions surgeries in and out of rehabs so forth and so on. Husband died in 2014. Three children. Because my disabilities mental I can't think so I have to use money to hire people to help me do things, so my life continues to fall apart. While I was in the hospital I had to hire people around the clock to watch my daughter. There are so many things in The last 5 years that have led to this moment. 5 years ago I almost had our home paid off. My husband and I build it over 30 years ago on his family land that has been here since 1943 and his family. We tore the old house down by hand. When he passed away I knew what I had to do to get the house paid off before survivor's benefits were gone. And I was doing it. I paid 15 years off in 5 years.
Starting 5 years ago many events happened. I've finance three or four times. The first two were okay. They were for normal reasons. But the last two not okay. I financed in April 2021 because of accumulated debt and since I was in the hospital and rehabs, and then more happened and things got worse. My life's not just being destroyed. Each of my three children have issues and even though I've had them in therapy their issues keep getting worse because I keep getting worse and I wasn't here and I didn't see them for over a year. Last mortgage I was forced to take out due to theft, to pay back more people who helped watch my daughter, to do some improvements or actually repairs in my home which I figured I would have to sell Maybe, and to pay people because at this point I'm 5 years behind on my tax returns because my disability and other things that have happened. The nightmare. I'm still not walking right. Letting other medical issues go because I don't have a choice.
So when I refinanced in September 2021 I took $20,000 extra help to pay people because I figured that's what it would cost to have a couple people help me catch up on bills and paperwork and tax preparation and things like that that I can't do because of my disability which is ironic because I have an accounting degree. Well at this point I'm between covid which my son had in the middle and some other things happened I'm thinking it's going to cost more like 35,000. I also don't have enough money to pay my mortgage. I have an in-law suite we've been renting out for a few years. Without that I can't get by.
I haven't had anybody in there I think since mid 2019. While I was in the hospital someone took my tractor drove it down the road got it and pounded. I just coming out of a coma. It's just us four really I had no one to get the tractor. By time I finally got someone to get to the police station to get the slip that they needed for the impound yard I had to pay $2,600 I think to get my tractor back which I had to borrow. I'm still paying on it. So many other things have happened that have caused my life to fall apart. So I kept refining seeing and taking equity out of my house that was almost paid off and now I can't even afford the payments because I don't have and haven't had a renter and because of all the extra expenses and because of theft and everything else.
My children need to get out of this house. We need to septic system. We grandfather it in and tied into our old septic system which is not a modern one with a leach field. With the cost of that I'm actually going to owe money when we leave here. I don't know how to do this. Every day is non-stop I can't catch up. If I wouldn't have refinanced and refinanced to cover the debts if I was in the hospital, if I didn't have this cognitive disability, I could have probably gotten coven phones or something I probably could have gotten help. But this was my retirement my husband was sick for a long time and we drained our finances. We are really in a critical position and there's no program none that's meant to help us. And it's one thing to lose our home, and I'm going to owe money to boot on social security with dependents, but my children are developing real mental problems.
My oldest is autism type spectrum symptoms have gotten worse. My daughter for example has started peeing in bags in her bedroom. She's 13 years old. My middle son is so depressed. He's depressed because he's the only one who could do anything. It was him and I for the most part. The house is way too big for us I had some help initially from an ex sister-in-law. My middle child was 8 years old when his father died and he's been taking care of this house ever since. Including septic issues in the middle of winter. He used to be this bright shining star smart cared about school. Now he doesn't care about anything. I got to get us out of this situation and I can. I need the house emptied. I need stuff moved. I have had a really nice 33 foot travel trailer that we could have lived in but it was stolen while I was in the hospital. And we have no vehicle. No one drives anyhow. I am well educated. I was a teacher also. I was working on my PhD but I got to the age I had to stop because I wanted to have children.
Every once in awhile I have a good day where I’m clear enough to accomplish a bit. Over the years I have called everywhere and done everything and there are no programs to help us we fall through the cracks. I make a few hundred dollars too much money. I'm disabled not my children. Whatever the reason there's nothing to help. Because my disabilities cognitive I need to hire people to help me do things maintain things pay bills. Every year thousands of dollars are wasted from overdraft hills or things that don't get done because I can't get them out in the mail. I've tried to do everything right. I was taking equity out of the house to try to do it right when things started going wrong. My trauma is what really killed me. But it's not just me. It's my three children. I don't know what to do for years I've been asking for help. It would appear that all the organizations set up to help people aren't really set up to help people like me. Okay.
But my children are the ones who are suffering and getting worse and they are our next generation. The supposed to be protected. They need me. They've been abandoned so many times. All right my book is over. You won't be able to help me either. I wish I could turn back the hands of time to 5 years ago. I know what I have to do I just can't do it there aren't enough hours even with three full-time people helping me right now. The solar company broke the contract and for 14 months I had a super high electric bill and I was paying them the lease fee and they gave me zero solar credit. That's when the problems started. And I was paying people to look at my geothermal system and my well and everything else. Trying to figure out what the problem was. And then a while later they did it again for 6 months. It's in the contract that they're supposed to monitor and maintain it. That was $30,000 at least out of my pocket. That's when I started need to refinance and take a little extra money out. It's snowballed from there. If a federal agent in the military took advantage of me. Right after my husband died.
He ended up moving in, he didn't pay towards any monthly expenses even though he's in the Air Force and they give him money and he was paying for an apartment before he met me. His mother stayed here for free and she did everything she could to run up the bills. His four children were here much of the year. He mentally abused me. He had me throw out all the furniture I bought the year before. He totaled my car. He did all kinds of things that were not appropriate for his position and he would probably lose his job including telling me he was the divorced and 3 years later I found out he wasn't after I lent money for land that he was going to pay for and pay and build the house on it that he wanted us to come and live with him. He took such advantage of me. And my children bonded with his children. I need to see the solar company. I need to contact the air force. And the biggest thing of all was the horrible medical stuff that was just happening to me during this process the negligent rehab. I was not mismanaging money although I wasn't perfect. I even put a 50-year roof on the house because I knew my kids were going to be staying here they had families because it's big enough for all of them. I replaced windows with new ones. I put a new flooring. It had been 30 years it was past time. I don't know what to do. I know I can't do it with somebody on the phone who's guiding me that's not what I need. I need a small army and money to get me out of the situation and more importantly to get my kids into a healthy situation.

There's more but yeah you don't need to hear it. I make too much money because I have my retirement pension from teaching because of my disability. I could not even read I was so bad or process anything when I sign that form. I just signed what people told me to sign. Because of that I make $1,200 too much for any kind of assistance for grants all the time for the roof that could have been free. Because the covid I haven't had a tenant in two and a half years going on 3 years. I went so far as the contact the State and although it's an unusual request I could have my pension stopped. Live off the state like everybody else who takes advantage of the state. I don't want to do that. My children, likes children who served in the military voluntarily but not during a war. Time, they have beautiful hearts, their empathetic and they're good people. I've watched my daughters self-esteem go from strong and powerful to almost nothing. I even called DYFS to get help as my life falls apart. Through the years I've tried everything churches I've used food banks has about 5 years ago when things started really going wrong I could do less and less because of the stress.
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Re: Life falling apart

Post by Admin »

That is a long message. Thank you, but more than we need. Sorry your life is falling apartment, and sounds like a crisis. Look here for resources about I need financial assistance immediately.
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