Enable my son

State and local government assistance programs.
Post Reply
Thrones
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2016 10:49 pm
Antispam check: Dog
Antispam check: two
anti spam: Blue

Enable my son

Post by Thrones » Tue Jun 02, 2020 3:40 pm

Hello, My son is 29 year old. He receives 735 SSI, now living in motel 6 Lufkin Texas however he will run out of money to stay there next week. He moved back from Colorado due to no ability to work, needs counselling and training to accept that his disabilities from a wreck in 2009. That he was not at fault but he lost his entire dream of Army career...he swore in September 2009 waiting for January to go to boot camp and was involved in a horrific crash that life delighted him and now after months of over 21 surgeries, and C-Diff causing eliostomy bag for 9 months then reversal. Rods in back. Hardware in left foot, facial reconstruction of titanium, blind in left eye, TBI, PTSD.
in addition, his teeth are brittle due to long term use of Fentinal patches (no longer on due to his choice of not liking the adverse effects & no control of his functioning). In October 2015 he went to Colorado due to his fear of all the pharmaceuticals threatening additional issues, he sought out for a natural aid for pain, and anxiety and so on. In this move though he countered the pain, and the depression and anxiety so he thought, but because of the TBI and no real counseling or proper training to adapt or move on, he had to return because he was taken advantage of and was literally on the streets with his service dog and I borrowed against my paid for car, to fly him home January 30 2019. He stayed with me for several weeks (as was enabling him) before ex-girlfriend (who has a protective order against her from State of Colorado for assaulting him).
He as a victim and lack of the judgment partly due to TBI and insecurity of being alone, caused extreme problems and I his mother had to make the decision that I cannot fix him or enable him, and he was in denial that she was using him. Things got volatile and I made him move out, that's why he is now at the motel 6. But he only has 1 more week that he can pay 218.00 to stay there, and then he will be out on streets.
I cannot and will not allow him to move back with me but he is now at a point that he has not had communications with her May 18,  he has finally with assistance from me and a friend of his, gotten his social security card ordered, be in next wee. He then can go to department of motor vehicles for his Texas driver’s license, but he needs reliable guidance to find assistance to get his Medicaid and Food stamps and assistance for counseling, housing, training, so he can get back his dignity, self-reliance/ CAN you please help him?
I cannot help him or enable anymore. We communicate, but I am at a position where I need to focus and keep my job, not be an enabler, not be an obstacle in his way from actually getting the help and assistance he needs. He makes irresponsible decisions and trusts too many people because he wants to belong, and have friends. So he receives SSI, no Medicaid, no food stamps....and his cash car he got in May burned up literally caught on fire July 5th.
He has a legal case pending due to February 19 he was upset & called me saying he was going to jump in front of a car to end it all. Although he didn't mean it, I didn't know it. I call 911 & they went looking for him on that highway for a well check, BUT he asked if he was being detained & then when Sherriff said no, he turned away refusing to talk & then there was a on foot chase which then ended up as an evading arrest & resisting arrest.

He is out on bond, he feels this is my fault because if I had not called for a well check this would not have happened. I told him he couldn’t live with me anymore after February 19th. He was still seeing the girl that has the protective order against her for his protection, then continued seeing her, was walking in a parking lot & got hit by a truck that she was in with a new love interest, & my son refused to file charges for ( deep multiple contusion -physical assault) on them because he didn't want them facing felony charges for assaulting a person with disabilities ( because he was convinced she really loved him & it would eventually end up  happily ever after with her).
That was March 6th, &  by March 25th he was hospitalized with MRSA,  so I let him stay with me while he recovered after discard from hospital, and June 6th, I made him leave my apartment because I was constantly being told it was all my fault that he has gotten into all this trouble.
Then he continued seeing her & being buddies with that guy, even though she was playing him. until June 8th he  was at her mom’s home and everything was okay and then later he saw them together in bed & he pulled him out of bed & the fought but ' once again neither one filed charges on each other. Now he faces an assault charge filed on July 5th by the guy ....the guy only said he wasn’t going to file charges on my Son because he knew he had record of the truck incident & that guy already is facing a 2nd DWI so now my Son faces assault charges in court sometime in August.
He is out on bond. My son is a tall skinny young man weighing maybe 135, HE NEEDS  help with counseling, financial help to be able to stay someplace with his service dog & puppy.
I cannot do it anymore, my job is in jeopardy for spending so much of my time emotionally distracted, and now that he no longer lives with me.
 I am able to do my job, and my son is now finally not having anything to do with that girl, realizing too late that his inability to make wise judgements or actually acknowledge all of this was to use him when he would have his SSI check being friendly only use him. He is now without a vehicle, on bond, nothing but his monthly check and his dog.
He is more than willing to receive counseling, get training, and focus only on becoming a human being with a purpose and not really on being enabled. Please let me know what he can do to get assistance  (he has an assigned attorney for the arrest in February). Yes he knows it was a poor judgement call to run even though he has PTSD and TBI he could still face a judgement for this and then when the both men fought and the other guy was hurt the most, and then waited until July 5th to files assault for the incident on June 7th. It's just enough that my Son had to realize that he does have issues, he cannot pretend that he is normal, and he us scared of not ever being able to be even close to normal.
I know he could become independent with some assistance and he is ready to accept that he is disabled, and he needs help getting on track. Please, he is a worthy individual, but it took almost 8 years to realize he's going to need help lining things up.
Thank you for reading my "book". But I really need him to get assistance and move forward and now he is ready but the TBI is serious enough to block those judgement triggers and he needs help getting things right.

Post Reply