Domestic abusive relationship

State and local government assistance programs.
a123
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Domestic abusive relationship

Post by a123 »

Im in a domestic abusive marriage after 15 yrs started hitting me. I have 4 kids & currently homeless but want to show my kids better & that I can do better for them but only get 828 a mon. On calworks & rent anywhere here is so expensive I have found a lady that sympathizes w me & wants to help us & will rent rooms to me for a low price of 600 mon & need first & last & deposit a total of 1800 to get in after that I can afford it alone. So please help me to give my kids a fresh new start
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Admin »

So you are in California? Did you try looking into free legal aid for the abusive relationship? Not only can a firm usually help with the domestic issue, but attorneys can also often refer you to various assistance programs, including how to get money for a security deposit, first months rent, etc. It is great that you got out of the abusive relationship.
http://needhelppayingbills.com/html/cal ... istan.html
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Lutter »

yes I live in Abilene Texas and i have no family here and my husband and i split up cause he wouldnt quit hitting me and i lost my home my car and my kids and i have no where to go all i want is my kids back. and i just need some help with a place to stay so i can get a job and get my kids back please. help me all i wwant is my kids and i dont want to loose them forever i just need someone to help me help myself. thank you
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Admin »

I think look into legal support for the domestic abuse in Abilene. The legal advice is free...pro-bono. One of the great things is not only can the attorneys provide you with free legal advice, but they can also refer you to financial assistance programs in the area. As the two often go hand in hand...help for abusive relationship and people needing financial help to get back on feet. More on Texas legal advice
Lutter wrote:yes I live in Abilene Texas and i have no family here and my husband and i split up cause he wouldnt quit hitting me and i lost my home my car and my kids and i have no where to go all i want is my kids back. and i just need some help with a place to stay so i can get a job and get my kids back please. help me all i wwant is my kids and i dont want to loose them forever i just need someone to help me help myself. thank you
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Colleen »

Hi I was just a victim of domestic abuse. I have been a house wife and looking for a job. I am needing help with my mortgage and Utilities in Jacksonville Florida next month. Do you help with this or know where I can get help? I am already on food stamps and medicaid for my son.
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Admin »

We can provide the names of some Jacksonville Florida agencies to apply at and call for help. But you need to male those calls. Maybe they have rent and utility funds, maybe not. Find the information on Jacksonville Florida rent assistance programs and agencies. Call organizations like the Northeast Florida Community Action Agency phone number 358-7474 or the United Community Outreach Ministry at 396-2401.
Colleen wrote:Hi I was just a victim of domestic abuse. I have been a house wife and looking for a job. I am needing help with my mortgage and Utilities in Jacksonville Florida next month. Do you help with this or know where I can get help? I am already on food stamps and medicaid for my son.
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Tr912 »

I need help for my step son who has been out of prison and drug free three plus years now, but he cannot find a job nor a home for rent or for sale with his past record. I am so afraid that he is just going to give up and go back to the other side of life. I am age 52 and living with a medical condition. I have lived in Cobb County in Georgia for 15 years at the same place. I raised a boy and a girl children without much help. My step son is 14 and has lived most of his life with his father and worked for his father in construction. His father retired in 2011 and sold his business. His business was doing land maintenance. My son was his lead man with only one or two other laborers. His father was very successful and made lots of money that he is not willing to share. He has remarried and our kids have been forgotten. Needless to say when my step son dropped out of school, he went to live with is father. He did not have much guidance but was spoiled so that he would chose to continue to live with and under his father's control, instead of living with me. Since age 18 he has associated with the wrong type people. He has been in and out of rehab and prison and each time it got worse. The last time in 2010 when he was arrested, he finally woke up. I hope he learned his lesson. He was sentenced to 20 years to serve five years for possession twice f meth and added to his record, he was banned from the local County. In prison he was a perfect prisoner (if there is such a thing). He signed up to work with the mobile unit building prisons on the outside. His Supervisor praised him and told him if he ever needed a recommendation to give his name. He volunteered for all drug courses that was offered while he was in prison and has a certificate of completion. He also got his GED while in prison with a 3.5 GPA. He has really, really tried to keep a good outlook, but when he was paroled out in December of 2009, the economy had bottomed out in the field that he knew which was construction. He had his CDL license at one time, but lost them when he was arrested. He got his regular driver's license back by taking DUI school classes. He now is doing the hardest job ever - he is logging, splitting wood, selling firewood, removing trees when they are not near a house or anywhere that would cause damage. He is and has always been very good at whatever he does. He can do anything he puts his mind to. You can tell and show him one time and you do not need to continue to show and tell, he catches on real fast. Even before he got on drugs, he was very smart and also made very good grades in school until he dropped out in the 10th grade. I am not financially able to help him; therefore, I am asking for someone's help. I have worked all my life most of time worked two or three jobs to raise my kids. I feel partly responsible since I had to be away from home so much while they were growing up. I know that I have certainly paid enough taxes in to support him forever. But he wants to now be a grown man, a good citizen and do things on his own as it should be. But he is just now realizing what a mess he has made of his life. He does not have tax returns for last the last ten years. He does not owe taxes because he only worked here and there and spent as he went. He does not have a bank account for the same reason. He has applied for his credit report which should not be bad because he has not bought anything on credit for the last ten yeas. He has worked and earned an income in the last ten years, but he never received a w2 as he was always under contract labor. He paid cash for any equipment he needed when he did work and later sold or pawned for drugs. He has tried in the past to get off drugs but always started associating with the friends that he had always run around with and got back on the drugs. I have been to meetings about drugs, etc. I cannot understand this addiction and I cannot accept it and just go on with my life. The drugs have taken over the world. Most all crimes, rapes, robberies are done by people on drugs to support their habit. Not for any other reason usually. The court officials do not care except to collect their fees, the Department of Corrections indicate they have programs to help ex felons get jobs, but he applied for all this help and was told if you have ever been on drugs, we cannot help you. This program is not for ex-felons because of drugs. What a shame that they can discriminate and give a rapist and murderer help knowing that in all probability these people were on drugs but just was not caught with drugs. My son has never had a violent crime arrest, but possession of drugs and trying to run from police to keep from being arrested. He has never driven a vehicle while on drugs, but when arrested at a private resident the law automatically takes your license. Please, please do not think that I condone this behavior and taking his side on any of this but the laws are so crazy. If he has served his time for being on drugs why would they not help him now when he is off drugs. That does not make sense. As you can see, he is really between a rock and a hard place. He has been off drugs since 2008 when he went to prison. He paroled out in Jan. 2011 and he is still off drugs. Please someone give him chance to get a home by renting or in some way. Right now he is making enough money to survive and has saved up enough to pay first and last month rent and can make a monthly payment of at least $400.00 month - but still has his utilities to pay, etc. If possible, it would be more suitable in a home in the country - low rental area so that he can have his saws, truck and other equipment that makes noise when he is working on them. There again the problem exist of drugs dealers, etc., yet he cannot get help if he has ever been on drugs. I know for a fact that there are plenty of people out there living off the government programs that are helping them continue to buy drugs and they still get help. How are they doing that? The logging and selling firewood is the source of money he has. He can operate heavy equipment and has been known to be the best front end operator in Monticello, Ga and surrounding area and can still be. Still no one will give him that chance. I really understand these people's concern, but if they would just give him a chance, it would be worth their time. He works very hard to get the job done and done correctly. I think he feels so bad about himself that he wants to prove that he is a good person and can be a good working citizen. Approval means so much to him. He really needs this support.
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Admin »

Good news for your son in getting out of prison. We have always been a big fan of getting new skills and training in order to become self-sufficient. We think this is even more important for ex prisoners. They will need to be highly skilled in order to get a chance as they have a lot going against them. The federal government has created various worker and job training programs, and even some for prisoners. http://needhelppayingbills.com/html/wor ... progr.html
One of the primary ones and that we recommend is the Workforce Investment Act (WIA). Hundreds of thousands of people across the nation benefit from it every year, and it is also offered in Georgia too. Read more on it using resource above.

Tr912 wrote:I need help for my step son who has been out of prison and drug free three plus years now, but he cannot find a job nor a home for rent or for sale with his past record. I am so afraid that he is just going to give up and go back to the other side of life. I am age 52 and living with a medical condition. I have lived in Cobb County in Georgia for 15 years at the same place. I raised a boy and a girl children without much help. My step son is 14 and has lived most of his life with his father and worked for his father in construction. His father retired in 2011 and sold his business. His business was doing land maintenance. My son was his lead man with only one or two other laborers. His father was very successful and made lots of money that he is not willing to share. He has remarried and our kids have been forgotten. Needless to say when my step son dropped out of school, he went to live with is father. He did not have much guidance but was spoiled so that he would chose to continue to live with and under his father's control, instead of living with me. Since age 18 he has associated with the wrong type people. He has been in and out of rehab and prison and each time it got worse. The last time in 2010 when he was arrested, he finally woke up. I hope he learned his lesson. He was sentenced to 20 years to serve five years for possession twice f meth and added to his record, he was banned from the local County. In prison he was a perfect prisoner (if there is such a thing). He signed up to work with the mobile unit building prisons on the outside. His Supervisor praised him and told him if he ever needed a recommendation to give his name. He volunteered for all drug courses that was offered while he was in prison and has a certificate of completion. He also got his GED while in prison with a 3.5 GPA. He has really, really tried to keep a good outlook, but when he was paroled out in December of 2009, the economy had bottomed out in the field that he knew which was construction. He had his CDL license at one time, but lost them when he was arrested. He got his regular driver's license back by taking DUI school classes. He now is doing the hardest job ever - he is logging, splitting wood, selling firewood, removing trees when they are not near a house or anywhere that would cause damage. He is and has always been very good at whatever he does. He can do anything he puts his mind to. You can tell and show him one time and you do not need to continue to show and tell, he catches on real fast. Even before he got on drugs, he was very smart and also made very good grades in school until he dropped out in the 10th grade. I am not financially able to help him; therefore, I am asking for someone's help. I have worked all my life most of time worked two or three jobs to raise my kids. I feel partly responsible since I had to be away from home so much while they were growing up. I know that I have certainly paid enough taxes in to support him forever. But he wants to now be a grown man, a good citizen and do things on his own as it should be. But he is just now realizing what a mess he has made of his life. He does not have tax returns for last the last ten years. He does not owe taxes because he only worked here and there and spent as he went. He does not have a bank account for the same reason. He has applied for his credit report which should not be bad because he has not bought anything on credit for the last ten yeas. He has worked and earned an income in the last ten years, but he never received a w2 as he was always under contract labor. He paid cash for any equipment he needed when he did work and later sold or pawned for drugs. He has tried in the past to get off drugs but always started associating with the friends that he had always run around with and got back on the drugs. I have been to meetings about drugs, etc. I cannot understand this addiction and I cannot accept it and just go on with my life. The drugs have taken over the world. Most all crimes, rapes, robberies are done by people on drugs to support their habit. Not for any other reason usually. The court officials do not care except to collect their fees, the Department of Corrections indicate they have programs to help ex felons get jobs, but he applied for all this help and was told if you have ever been on drugs, we cannot help you. This program is not for ex-felons because of drugs. What a shame that they can discriminate and give a rapist and murderer help knowing that in all probability these people were on drugs but just was not caught with drugs. My son has never had a violent crime arrest, but possession of drugs and trying to run from police to keep from being arrested. He has never driven a vehicle while on drugs, but when arrested at a private resident the law automatically takes your license. Please, please do not think that I condone this behavior and taking his side on any of this but the laws are so crazy. If he has served his time for being on drugs why would they not help him now when he is off drugs. That does not make sense. As you can see, he is really between a rock and a hard place. He has been off drugs since 2008 when he went to prison. He paroled out in Jan. 2011 and he is still off drugs. Please someone give him chance to get a home by renting or in some way. Right now he is making enough money to survive and has saved up enough to pay first and last month rent and can make a monthly payment of at least $400.00 month - but still has his utilities to pay, etc. If possible, it would be more suitable in a home in the country - low rental area so that he can have his saws, truck and other equipment that makes noise when he is working on them. There again the problem exist of drugs dealers, etc., yet he cannot get help if he has ever been on drugs. I know for a fact that there are plenty of people out there living off the government programs that are helping them continue to buy drugs and they still get help. How are they doing that? The logging and selling firewood is the source of money he has. He can operate heavy equipment and has been known to be the best front end operator in Monticello, Ga and surrounding area and can still be. Still no one will give him that chance. I really understand these people's concern, but if they would just give him a chance, it would be worth their time. He works very hard to get the job done and done correctly. I think he feels so bad about himself that he wants to prove that he is a good person and can be a good working citizen. Approval means so much to him. He really needs this support.
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by ShakeThat »

I stumbled across your website by coincidence, actually. I am a single mother of 2 and have been through hardship after hardship over the past few years. This would include ending an abusive relationship that has left me with a lot of debt that was not accrued by my choice. We were living in a two bedroom apartment until just recently. I had the utilities set up in my son's name since my ex messed mine up. Due to the building being unsafe to reside in, my children and I are forced to move. Our apartment was broken into 3 times but police do not take it serious, nor does the landlord. Therefore, we are not considered victims and are unable to get victim assistance either. I am in desperate need to help pay off the balance due to Com Ed of $565.00 and Nicor of about $350.00. Also, I need help finding a deposit for another apartment. My credit is poor due to the hardship as well. I do have a great job that I love and would be able to afford the monthly bills and rent, I just need help getting back on my feet. I have contacted agency after agency to no avail. They all say I make too much money. The problem is, we are now all 3 of us, sleeping in small two bedroom apartment and all of our things have to go into storage. We cannot stay at their home for more than 2 months as my mother and daughter are both Bipolar - My mother is SEVERE now with dad's illness. She cannot handle the kids nor can anyone handle her. It's a living nightmare most days and this hurts my children emotionally. I am trying very hard to move them out asap. We have only been there a couple of weeks, but I need to get things moving. It would take me 6 months to pay off all of the debt and save up for a deposit and first month's rent because I still have to pay bills where we are staying. I am also assisting my father as he has cancer and no Rx coverage. I would be willing to work for the charity. I cannot do anything online as our computer at home is not reliable. Could you please provide me with any suggestions or referrals I may have possibly missed? I have already tried local churches, Catholic charities, LIHEAP, Tri County, Community Action. It seems I do not meet the guidelines of many programs yet I can barely provide food for my children. They took away my link card as soon as I got SSI for my daughter. Now they say I make too much even though that money is for her disability needs. Please, I would appreciate any suggestions or referrals or ideas you may have. I am in desperate need.
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Zach »

Just moved out of a volatile, abusive, crazy, uneasy, controlling, cheating marriage with the man that I thought was my hero of 13 years. We need assistance right now for bills. Please, please help us. Trying to go to college, trying to get a better job. Trying to make this new situation for my son and I work. If I don’t get help soon, this horrible man will get custody of my 8 year old. I need help to get on my feet PLEASE.
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by jbeers1 »

I recently walked away from my house and most of my items due to an abusive relationship. I am a mother of two. When I left it was during the night while he was sleeping and in the morning I woke up to my bank account emptied by him. I don't know what to do next, I do not have family to help me. And not really any friends in sight. I live in Arizona and its so hot outside, I have tried shelters but they are no where near where my job is. Which I have missed a lot of since I left because of the lack of money. I left everything behind in hopes of getting away from the abuse for my kids and my self. Any advice please? Thank you.
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Admin »

Often a Department of Human Services office will have programs for domestic violence incidents. The social workers can help you find a new home to live in and get you somewhere safe. There are agencies in Arizona that you can call on, and of course it depends on your exact city and county. But anyhow, give them a call and see what they can do. The main centers to try are here. http://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html ... izona.html
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Bird »

I'm in an abusive relationship, and my son and I are stuck until I get a home to get out of here, but I haven't been able to work cause the guy I'm dating won’t let me, so I just need the money to get a home started and then I can work again. Then I can make it on my home like I always did previously to this person abusing me.
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Elephant »

I recently left my husband after 5 years of emotional, physical and psychological abuse. It was a domestic abusive relationship.
I have a 16 year old daughter that is absolutely amazing. We stayed with friends for two weeks. We couldn't stay anywhere very long because he continued to look for me. He did everything possible to ruin my ability to separate our lives with the domestic abuse. He made up an elaborate story to my previous employer and I was fired. It has been 3 weeks since we left and I finally got us into a home 3 days ago. We live in Galena Kansas now and we have a couch and our clothes. I applied for food stamps, Medicaid and I applied for unemployment benefits until I find a job.
I'm constantly trying to get a new job. I haven't received any assistance at this time. I am getting behind on my bills due to the expense of getting into our house. As well as I am desperately looking for furniture, primarily a bed for my daughter. She turned 16 6 days after we were able to get out. And she didn't do anything to deserve any of these problems. I don't know exactly how to make sure that I do everything I can to give her a better life than to try everything I know possible to get out of this abusive relationship. I am attending counseling at New Directions in Joplin Missouri. I have been for over a year. I don't know what to do at this point. Please let me know of any possible resources that I may qualify for. I have been employed my entire life since I was a teenager I have a difficult time asking for help. But it's for my daughter to have a stable good home. Thank you so much
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Re: Domestic abusive relationship

Post by Mr. Seltzer »

I have been searching through your site for resources to pay bills I cannot afford. I am going 4 months in escaping a domestic violent relationship of 8 years with a narcissist. I have lost everything including any good standing with rental or utility companies.
By the grace of God, I am given a chance to rent the home my ex-husband of twenty years ago, stole out from under me. He moved to his family home, and I had come to our old house we rented. He does not help with anything as it’s been 20 years. The rent is 550$ per month along with all utilities. Electric is past due of 260$ , water 70$ , gas 60$. Also, there are multiple cats in and outside of the house that require food. This is all dumped in my lap in exchange for staying in the house. I suffered homelessness for so long I do not feel as though I can live it again. I know I can’t.
The bills are in my ex’s name and I’m sure I have to pay them before having them put in mine. The rent is at least 1-month arrears and no lease in my name till it caught up. Same for the gas and water.
I get little more than 800$ with a 100$ automatic deduction per month. Also, Snap food program help my overcome this domestic abusive relationship. That’s it, I have no family, no friends, no hope. That is what happens in relationships with narcissists before it ends. Everything is gone and one stands alone to beg organizations such as this to please help them from completely failing and possibly going back to the violence, abuse and insanity they dared to escape.
If there’s anything that reference can be provided for someone in my situation, I will be thankful. The biggest issue is not having bills in my name yet. Any resources will be helpful for me.
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