Kids (or really adults) depleted my finances

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vickie jo
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Kids (or really adults) depleted my finances

Post by vickie jo »

To Whom It May Concern,
I have a very difficult situation to explain.  Without having to live it yourself, it is very hard to understand who kids (but who really adults who should be stable) can make my finances turn out to be such poor shape.  I need some direction in where I go from here and hoping you have some suggestions.
I am a 62 year old woman. I owned my own business as a successful Enrolled Agent/ Accountant until I became disabled in 2005.  I was the caregiver to my husband for 24 years.   Due to my husband's disabilities, we lost 4 fully paid for homes in our married life of 25 years.  I was a very strong minded woman and worked extremely hard.  I was able to pull us out of medical financial hardships many times.  I was financially stable for my retirement years until my nephew came to live with me, destroying everything I built.
On December 31, 2011, my nephew (Terrance 31) came to live with me in Pennsylvania from a homeless shelter in MN. Our agreement was that I would take care of him if he would take care of me, as I was pretty much bed ridden at that time.  My husband passed just months before Terrance came to live with me.  I was reaching out to a family member that was also in need of help.  This was to benefit both of us.  I then moved my mom (age 81) in my home to live her final days with us.
At first, we had our ruff times but thing seemed to be going in the right direction.  Terrance met woman (Nichole 28) that is now his wife Nikki moved in with us.  As time went on, I found I was supporting them both and they depleted my budget and finances each and every month.   I owned a home in Arkansas and felt it was time for the 2 of them to grow up and start to find their own way in the world we live in.  I decided it was time for me to move to my retirement home in AR.  The two of them were to get on their feet and move to Arkansas with me within the year.  Nikki went to work and Terrance became a home husband.   Nikki was very unhappy with her job after approx. 3 month and was ready to quit.
I again became very ill and needed them to come to PA earlier than planned.  They packed up and moved to AR to help me with the home and my dogs.
As time went on, Nikki was not taking the incentive to find a job and when she did, it was now showing she could not hold a position for more than 3 months at a time.  The financial burden was on me.  I was supporting 3 people on my disability pay check which depleted my savings account.  As time went on, I found Nikki did not want to work outside of the home at all.  So I set her up with a telecommunication job right at home.  She would go in and out of programs continuously, never able to stick with one company.  The two of them lived off me for 4 years depleting my retirement fund.
The stress in this home became unbearable.  The two became very lazy and would not even clean up after themselves.  The more I brought this to their attention, the nastier they became to me.  They wanted to be in a family environment but they were unwilling to do their part.  I could no longer keep the household going.  The two of them convinced me that Nikki could financially get me out of this mess if I were to hand over my monthly finances to them.  I wanted to make this situation work.  I could not do it myself (I thought).
As time went on, the roof on my home started to leak and water was coming into my bedroom.  Terrance assured me he could put a roof on my home.  I seriously thought he could do this.   This is when my real nightmare started.  Terrance began the project and without my knowledge, the two of them started to get into drugs.  The project came to an end leaving me with half ofay roof torn off and trapped.  The heavy wind and rains began.  Water coming into the home in every direction, soaking my ceilings.
By this time, the verbal treatment was leading into physical abuse.  I was now afraid of both of them.  I became a prisoner in my own home, spending most of my time in my bedroom.  I knew something was wrong and took back my finances.  I discovered, Nikki stole over 10K from me in just months. I could not get them to leave my home, so I was forced to go to a women's shelter.   I had to have the police remove them from my home with courts pending an order of protection.
By the time I was able to come back home, my home was in despair.  Terrance stole all the tools I purchased for the roofing job, which cost me over 5k.   All ceiling and floors are now damaged to the point of no return.
I filed an insurance calm and was denied any compensation to repair my roof.  I had to hire contractors to help stop the damage.  This put me further in debt and my fiances are a mess due to this kids - adults.       I had to remove all ceiling to stop the mold growth.  Being disabled, this is extremely difficult but I have no money to hire anyone else to complete this job for me.  I now live in a shell of a home with no way to repair the damage caused by them.
This was to be the home I retired in.  I am now 60K in credit card debt with no way to get out of this financial mess.  I do not have a mortgage on my home and in order to get this I needed to have a roof on my home which I went into further debt.   I now find out I cannot get a mortgage without repairing my ceilings and damaged floors that were caused by Terrance's reckless behavior.  I have checked into credit card debt consolidation and even then the payments are too extreme to for me to handle.  Bankruptcy is difficult as I had to max out my credit cards recently to keep my home.
I am in a catch 22.  I cannot pay the credit card companies the minimum payments as I do not make enough to live.  This was to be a family effort to take care of this disaster (the roof repairs).   I cannot afford to move and I have 3 dogs that are my babies.  Giving them away is not an option.  They have been there for me through all my hardships.  It would literally kill me if I would have to get rid of them over this mess, they are my children of five years now. but they made my finances a mess and killed my home and retirement.
There seems to be no help for people in my position.  I am looking for direction and am reaching out to those who may know what steps I should take so I can start living my life again.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: Kids (or really adults) depleted my finances

Post by Ebonee »

Hi, I seen your name and company on a site I was giving from 211. I am in need of major help. I have three kids and have been approved for housing with Columbia TN housing authority. Sadly one of my kids took money from me and depleted my finances in my bank account. But it's going to take at least another week to two for my house to be ready they are painting and etc. I have had the Ten collision center put us up for a few days but they told me that they are going to call around and I need to see if I can find people to help for one more week.  So, I'm lost never been in this issue. I just got out of a domestic violence center which is where my kids depleted my bank account. The shelter wouldn’t even give us an extension to stay there for two week. I Dawn was upset they act like that.. so, if you have anyone you know that can help even a little then please let me know.
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Re: Kids (or really adults) depleted my finances

Post by Admin »

211 would not have directed you to us. As we do not provide direct financial aid. Regardless, as far as the Section 8 housing in TN, we have many resources listed. They can hopefully accommodate all 3 of your kids. Learn more. https://www.needhelppayingbills.com/htm ... essee.html
Ebonee wrote: Wed Dec 25, 2019 6:12 pm Hi, I seen your name and company on a site I was giving from 211. I am in need of major help. I have three kids and have been approved for housing with Columbia TN housing authority. Sadly one of my kids took money from me and depleted my finances in my bank account.
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